karma much

i've never really appreciated what my mum does for me. i mean, "appreciate" is so ambiguous. how do we actually "appreciate" something?

do we merely say things like "thank you" and "that's wonderful" and "i really needed that" and other niceties when people do things for us? wouldn't that just be forced ceremonial utterance?

how do we "appreciate"? what do people mean when they say "you should appreciate ______ more rather than take it/her/him/me/them for granted"? what i'm really trying to say is, when is it that we don't appreciate? if we don't express our gratitude every hour or even every day, does that make us spoilt brats?

okay, that may be taking it a LEEDLE bit too far. i must admit that at times, it's easy to forget Who made you and Who you should really be thanking. I think we show gratitude towards all the wrong people, and none towards those who really deserve it. Take God for instance. If we can experientally realize what He had to go through to save us from eternal perdition, we would genuinely fall to the ground and declare ourselves unworthy of His love. But the thing is, He showed it to us anyway. And that's what has captured so many lovers of Christ.

Anyway, back to the mum thang. i bought some asam laksa for her this afternoon because i thought it would be very grown-up of me to do so. i especially enjoyed callin gher on my mobile and asking her (with a lot of noise in the background, thus showing how busy i was) if she'd fancy some laksa for lunch. so i bought it, as well as some tasty lekur.

Later on, as she was preparing it, she said, "Aiya. Have to go soon (for sisters' meeting). Shouldn't have asked you to buy the laksa. It doesn't even look that good, anyway."

OHHHH i was offended. i was like, erm excuse me? i trudged around in that damansara place in the hot hot sun to buy that laksa for you and now you're telling me it doesn't look good???"

OH HOW DAAAARE YOU!!!

then i realized, how many times have i not appreciated the food my mum buys or makes for me? it made me think about all those portions of salmon oat porridge i made faces at.... those 101 "healthy" vegetables my mum cooked out the Encyclopedia of Veggies....