Hope.

Picture taken at Disneyland Paris.

Real Love

"If you really love her, you will let her go." - Fairy Godmother, Shrek II

Well this soppy quote never made much sense to me. But once you've actually experienced it for yourself, you won't have to worry about never having had real love. Because, THAT QUOTE, my friend, is truly what love is about.

Long story short, minus all the sobbing and drama, my ex-boyfriend is now going out with one of my friends. Just shoot me now, why don't you? Anyway, there's always been something lingering on between us, refusing to go, even after we broke up. Either that, or I'm a wuss and it's all my imagination. But I highly doubt. He said he would, and I quote, "Wait".

Yes, yes, romantically enough he said he would wait. And I kept him to that, because I trusted in his word. Although consequences have guided me to make the right choice in stopping this relationship, there is a side to it that glows with hope.

Hope isn't whether it will happen or not in the end and so we only keep hoping if it could turn out how we want it to be. Hope is sticking to what you believe in, no matter how unstable or unlikely it may be. This is why it's called Hope. This is why it keeps people going. Hoping. Searching.

So he might have as well written "WAIT" on a large piece of pink scented paper and then torn it up and put it in the recycling bin, because that's exactly how it felt.

My trusty comrades encourage me to avenge myself, or at least be angry. But I cannot. I simply cannot. Love doesn't stop blossoming when it becomes a one way process. Yes, thorns and thistles may spring up along the way, but love is stronger. Love prevails.

This may sound like it belongs on a Hallmark card somewhere, but really, I love him. Maybe not as much as I used to, but I feel like separation has caused it to burn steadily, a flame in the cold winter wind.

So if this is how he wants it to be, if he's really happy with this arrangement, so be it. He has moved on, and so should I.

Choices

The choices we make all really depend on us.
God has given us the gift of free will.

People think that because of certain unfortunate circumstances, our choices are made for us.
No, these circumstances are only the influence.
What really matters at the end of the day is the decision we make.

Will we stand firm in what we believe in?
Or will we succumb in weakness to the trials and suffering around us?
It's all up to us.

We have more power than we realize.
It's all in our will.

Sex before marriage?

I was having an argument with a friend about sex and what is the appropriate age to have it at.
This friend, who was telling me that sex should be had before marriage, was saying how we'd be so crap at it when we grow up and get married, if that's the only time we plan on doing it.
Then he went on to say, all of a sudden, that sex is a wonderful thing, and how that two people who really, really love each other don't care what each other looks like. They care for only one thing, and that is their love.

So then I asked myself, so if sex is truly such a wonderful display of love to each other, why must we be good at it?
If two people genuinely love each other, with real love, not passionate lusty movie-like love, then they wouldn't be bothered if both of them were complete bollocks at sex. They wouldn't care one bit.

It's a mystery, that's what sex is.

I laugh. I smile. I happy.

I'm a laugher. I'll admit it.
But in times of no laughter being allowed for certain cruel and inevitable reasons, a smile suffices. 

Here's a quote I found while hunting around:

"Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit."

Now THAT quote, that really describes me. Laugh on credit. Laugh at anything.

So why do I love to laugh so much? Confession: I love attention, most of the time. But that's not my main reason for laughing; in fact it's not a reason at all. 
It's the twinkle that I see in people's eyes as they watch me roll around in peals of laughter. It's the fidgeting of the sides of their mouths as they try not to follow. It's the dangerous fluctuation of their cheekbones as they clamp down their mouths, hoping that it doesn't give way to sudden bursts of laughter.

I love these little signs that show that life exists. I love it that smiles and laughter and senses of humour exist.
Oh, wonderful laughter.
I have to say, sincerely and genuinely and without a doubt, that laughter is my best medicine.

Tragedy.

I have a wise friend. His name is Patrick.
He's one of those deep people with lots of wit and wisdom.
He wrote this quote:
"There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."

I was so impressed. And then I found out he didn't write it. He just liked it.
Another guy, some guy, called George Bernard Shaw, wrote the original quote. 

I like to think of the word "gain" as "find". I relate to "find" better.

We're always looking for something, do you realize? Nobody residing on this Earth is truly happy in their soul. We'll always be in want.
Want, want, want.
From this point on, I'll never blame anyone for not being happy with their lives. Who can blame them? We'll always want.
Want, want, want.

First post ever

With thought, surely comes more thought.
That seems a bit obvious, but for me, there has been so many cases where I start thinking and can't stop. There's so much to think about.

My thoughts started out as a mere assignment.  I wanted to write something deep and meaningful. Unfortunately, I'm not much of a deep and meaningful person.
Anyhow, I got around to writing. And then, I realized how much there is to wonder and contemplate about. So much.


Too much.